Elderly resident laments changing of the times, wishes 'cocksucker' was still...
Harfold, Vt. - Harfold resident Samuel Cater, 86, pondered today the changes he's witnessed throughout the years, and he regrets seeing so much slip out of fashion."I remember," reminisced Cater...
View ArticleThird-graders nationwide enraged: experts reveal that Donald Trump speaks...
Harfold, Vt. - Third-graders across the United States are enraged by a study using the Flesch-Kincaid grade-level test which showed that Republican presidential hopeful, Donald Trump, speaks like an...
View ArticleList of white nationalist organizations submitted to Trump for disavowal;...
Washington, D.C. - Holding Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump to his word, a list of white nationalist organizations was submitted Tuesday to Mr. Trump. During an interview with CNN on...
View Article'Trump University taught valuable lessons,' says former student. 'Like Trump...
NEW YORK, Ny - The line of students claiming that the education they received from Trump University was as worthless as the bogus brochures that first enticed them is about as long as a Trump Tower...
View ArticleBefore Prince's death, on average, people last thought about singer 7 1/2...
HARFOLD, Vt. - As the world mourns the death of singer Prince, who died this week due to complications following an overdose, Harfold State College has released a startling finding. Although most of...
View ArticleTrump wants to protect Articles 8 through 12, even though they don't exist
Washington, D.C. - Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump vows to protect all 12 Articles of the Constitution, should he be elected president. Although this news was welcome music to many...
View ArticleTrump admits he'd have dated his mother if she hadn't been, you know, his mother
Denver, Co. - In an effort to deflect the negative press he's been getting the past few weeks, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump stated this week that his mother, Mary Anne Trump, who...
View ArticleDonald Trump Checkup Said to Reveal He Is Overweight Asshole
New York - Donald J. Trump released on Wednesday the results from his most recent physical examination, revealing that he is overweight, takes a statin for cholesterol, and is an asshole. Although Mr....
View ArticleTrump to name Genghis Khan his Secretary of Defense
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Once again turning to retired generals to fill cabinet positions and other posts, President-elect Donald Trump is believed to be close to naming retired General Genghis Khan as his...
View ArticleHunger can lead to anger, but compounded if wife doesn't bring me a goddamn...
HARFOLD, Vt. - We've all been "hangry," that grumpy disposition when we get home late and haven't had a meal. God forbid you've missed an entire meal. But the female cafeteria staff at Harfold State...
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